Okay, first up, yesterday was my birthday! What a fun day and thank you to all the people who made it special. 🙂 Now then…
Crumbling brick walls still stand.
Have you ever just looked at a brick wall? Really observed the missing mortar? Wondered how the wall can keep standing when the binding agent is crumbling; when it seems that the mortar is barely holding the wall together?
At times I feel like I’m that brick wall. My gaps in the mortar are tiny holes in my heart, bruises that threaten to harm my integrity. How do I fill these holes?
Back in November, Brown Dog Yoga offered the chance for its students to write their gratitude on a little slip of paper, roll it up, and slip it in a crack in the brick wall. These thanks still fill the gaps in the mortar even today. Thankfulness, gratitude. Those are the things that fill those holes.
So how do I fill my holes, my gaps, the chinks in my armor? Gratitude & thankfulness.
And, wow, do I have a lot to be thankful for.
I got my nails done Tuesday night as a birthday treat. Hot pink, almost Pepto pink. But a happy pink. My left ring finger nail is a shimmery dark grey, almost black. Why? My life is full of brightness, and sometimes it gets a little dark. But that darkness isn’t bleak… it’s sparkly. It shimmers.
That’s thankfulness represented. The shimmering base of the darkness. At times I feel low, I cling to my gratitude to fill the gaps in my mortar. It supports me so I don’t crumble. It fills the holes so that tomorrow I shine a little brighter. Hopefully I go from the dark grey to the bright pink; it takes time. But it happens.
Gratitude and thankfulness. I can’t live without them.
And why did I choose my left ring finger? I’m committed to myself, my growth, my abilities, my vulnerabilities. Ever day that I have this manicure, I’ll get to look down and be reminded that my energy is bright. I’ll know my thankfulness includes being my own brand of crazy, my own uniqueness. I’m me, crumbling mortar and all. And I accept that. I’m committed to me.
And for that I am thankful.